


The Twins of Smoke

by babyysloth



Category: The Folk of the Air - Holly Black
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:08:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28714056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyysloth/pseuds/babyysloth
Summary: Shortly after the battle with Madoc and his army, Jude and Cardan return to their royal duties.. until they realize that Jude is pregnant. A combination of terror and bliss put a baby in her belly, and Jude can't decide what to do.Come with them on their journey through pregnancy, parenting, and eventually, the aftermath of a destructive prophecy that may change everything.
Relationships: Jude Duarte/Cardan Greenbriar
Comments: 56
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This isn't my first time writing fanfic, but it IS my first time posting it, so bear with me as I try to navigate my thoughts and try to create something readable.
> 
> MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING! **PROCEED WITH CAUTION! ******

After Vivi's party, I sag onto the frame of our quarters, sharply remembering last time I was this exhausted, when Cardan and I both ended up on the floor, tangled in each other and feelings. I feel his presence beside me and moving on, and before he can get out of range, I grab his hand and pull him close. I peer up at those charcoal-black eyes, ones that I used to hate but grew to live for.  
"You okay?" I ask, softly. He closes his mouth over mine, quickly but gently, effectively silencing my concerns with a kiss. "Cardan," I murmur against his lips, and be backs away, only slightly, so we're still sharing our breaths but no longer mouth-to-mouth. I run a hand down and over his chest, savoring every moment, because who knows? No one promised tomorrow, and I'm not usually such a wishful thinker, but I hadn't believed in love for such a long time, and I now have Cardan, who fills all my empty spaces and makes me feel more at home than ever.

He grins at me, that crooked smile I've become accustomed to, and suddenly I know (a split second too late), what he's about to do.

In one fluid motion, he grabs my hips and tosses me onto and over his shoulder, so I'm staring at the ground behind him, my nostrils filling with his smell of moss and oak and leather. I shriek with laughter and protest half-heartedly as he dumps me on his- our- bed. I wouldn't mind a repeat of that night, and apparently neither does he, because the next thing I know we're parallel to each other, tangled in each other and bare skin once more.

That very next morning, Tatterfell barges in, barely batting an eye at the nudity on display. I am reminded, again, that modesty is an entirely different thing in Elfhame and among the Folk. Instead of covering myself, I stand up and go to the baths, where I slide into silky and fragranced water. I hear a bustle as Cardan readies himself for our day, and I remember with a start, that I am supposed to start my period today. I check the bathwater, but it's still clear and milky as ever, without even a single trace of red. I shrug, forcing my anxiety down where I can't find it, like the French coffee press that Heather has been raving about. 

As I draw myself from the tub, Tatterfell is already next to me, waiting to layer me in expensive fabrics. She dresses me carefully, occasionally pinching my cheek with her sharp fingers, somewhat fondly. After I am dressed, I meet a freshly bathed and robed Cardan back in the main room. He hooks his arm around my waist and I grip his bicep, just as the Living Council enters. Randalin, leading the way, approaches with a solemn look on his face.  
"Your Highness," he starts, looking at me. "Madoc as made a request. He asks that you go see him in the mortal world."

Cardan's grip on me tightens.  
"She will not-" he begins, but I cut him off.  
"I will see him," I say with as much confidence as I can muster. I have to admit, I've missed him a little bit. Yes, he tried to kill me and take over Elfhame, but he's still the person that taught me how to hold a sword, who took me under his wing and gave me so much of what I have today. The rest, I took. Cardan gives me a concerned look. I rarely cry, but the way his eyes brush over mine make me want to sob until my chest caves in. He's concerned about me, I realize.

I kiss his cheek softly.  
"You can handle this meeting. I'll go see him," I tell my husband firmly. He bites his lip anxiously, then nods. I slip around the council, letting go of him and immediately feeling unbalanced. Mikkel, bringing up the rear, holds open the door for me as I exit the room, my skirts sweeping along with me. Fand and my guard rush to my side to escort me. I'm going to see my father.  
\---  
I stare at the apartment number on the slip of paper in my hand and then look at the door with the corresponding number. Am I actually about to do this?  
Before I can answer myself, I hear about three latches clicking. I freeze, and then suddenly Madoc is standing in front of me. My eyes widen. I've never even imagined him in plainclothes, but here he is, in jeans and an untucked white button-down. Aside from the greenish skin and the large, sharp teeth, he looks almost human. He grins at me.  
"Hello, Jude. Long time, no see. Why don't you come in?"

I step inside and then  
he lunges for me  
i flatten to the floor  
he holds a knife to my throat  
I know he's not allowed  
but he

tears my skirt and I  
hand over my mouth can't scream  
lights go out  
pins me down on his floor  
can't breathe and

inside me and he's  
sweaty body on top of me  
looks insane, mad with rage and loneliness  
feel him release and  
someone bangs on the door  
close my eyes  
a thud next to me  
more hands on my body  
can't feel my face Cardan and carries  
silken sheets and  
darkness

\---

Over the next few days and nights, the memories come back to me. I should have never gone to see my father. Madoc. Is this death? Did he kill me?

Cardan brushes my hair for me, gently, so gently that I never thought I'd feel him this softly.

He sings to me when I wake up from nightmares. I've never heard him sing before. It's beautiful.

I slowly come back to being myself. But I cry every day, and I've been ravenous, devouring everything that Cardan brings me. I've barred myself away. Cardan and I stay in our quarters with only each other and occasionally Tatterfell. I sleep for less and less. Nightmares keep me awake. One day, I ask Cardan what happened.  
"I knew you shouldn't have gone," he replied, sounding like he lost some great love. "I was worried so I followed you." I bury my face in the crook of his neck and sob until my chest aches.  
"He was my father," I murmur through my tears. Wrong choice. Cardan seizes me by my shoulders and looks me in the eyes.  
"He is NOT your father. No father would do that to his child. That is a monster, no father of yours."  
I just keep crying. 

\---

I've been puking in the mornings.  
I have to tell him.

I pull my husband onto a low couch next to me.  
"I'm pregnant."  
"I know."  
This time, we both cry.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "This isn't how it was supposed to go.  
> Cardan and I were supposed to rule until Oak is ready to take the throne.  
> Now there's a wrench in the works."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOO!! Chapter 2!!! Let's do thisssss

This isn't how it was supposed to go.  
Cardan and I were supposed to rule until Oak is ready to take the throne.  
Now there's a wrench in the works.

News travels fast, especially in Elfhame. Even without liars, there still can be lies. Misheard sentences and twisted words cause the rumors; the baby is a knight's, I'm not actually pregnant, et cetera.   
In due time, we make an announcement at a ball. The two of us, side by side, with my baby bump just beginning to show; High Queen Jude is pregnant with the heir to the throne. 

But what about Oak?

Over the next week or two, we receive gifts and propositions aplenty. I am offered a gown that would move around my swollen belly to fit exactly as it does to a not-pregnant me. An enchanted cradle that rocks itself. A toy for the child that will keep it calm even through a war. In all the items, we find magic woven into every crevice that would put us in a bind in which I would have to give up the child to the giver.

Eventually, the Living Council comes to see us. I push back my terror and present myself as a Queen for them. I always do, and I won't stop now.  
We talk about what this baby means for the kingdom. We speak of what we're to do with our marriage.   
I'm overwhelmed.   
It's too hot.  
I'm uncomfortable.

Cardan catches my eye and I stare for a minute. He nods.  
I stand.  
"I'll be excusing myself now," I say regally. Randalin snorts, Fala barely blinks, and Baphen sighs through his nostrils. In response, I simply exit.   
I wander the halls of the palace, barely aware of where I'm headed, until I come to the door of my old quarters. They've been ransacked; the wardrobe is ajar and my books are scattered. Still, I already feel more alive. 

I shut the door and change into one of my old outfits, swinging on a cloak over a doublet. It's all a tight fit, thanks to my rapidly growing stomach, but it's still wearable as I climb out the window and set out for the Shadow Court base.  
I run all the way there, enjoying the fire igniting in my limbs as I sprint across the dewy grass. The moonlight is brighter here, and it shines over me like quicksilver.  
It's been too long, and I know that as soon as I start to struggle to find the entrance. I run my fingers through my hair, loosening my braids, and exhale a small cloud of steam. It's getting colder and colder in Elfhame.

Eventually I find the entrance, trekking down to the main room. I recall the first time I was here. I was young, terrified, and full of hate. Nothing was good enough, and I just wanted more and more. I wish I could say that it's changed. I wish I wasn't still the same Jude I was when Dain first came to see me.   
I hear voices, and I quicken my pace.  
"Jude!"   
Suddenly the Bomb is in my arms, laughing. She swung herself towards me and enfolded me in a hug. I clutch her tight, savoring the moment.  
The Roach waves at me from the table.  
"Ah," he muses, jokingly. "So long since we've seen this ugly face." I make a face at him and look around. There's a couple faeries I don't know scattered around the room. The Ghost is slicing cheese and says nothing to me. Then my own face is level to mine- except the one I'm looking at is contorted in fury.

"I've been worried sick!" Taryn yells. I flinch. "And you didn't even tell me that you were pregnant! I've been waiting for you to visit and you've been locked away in that castle of yours, doing God knows what..." I let her ramble on for a bit. When she's done, she punches me in the shoulder, a comfortingly human gesture that I haven't seen her display in years. She smiles at me, and I smile back. She fold her hands over her own belly, which is the size of a watermelon at this point, and tears brim her eyes.   
"Hey," I say, trying to sound comforting. But she IS my sister, so she wipes away the tears and puts her game face back on. 

I sit at the table and catch up with the Bomb and the Roach. They look at each other, blushing, at least ten times. I throw my hands up.  
"Out with it already! What's going on?" I demand. The Bomb and the Roach look at each other and smile. Taryn is practically bouncing in the seat next to me.   
"We're-" the Bomb starts, but Taryn cuts her off.  
"They're going to get married!" She exclaims. I raise my eyebrows.   
"Oh?"   
"Taryn!" the Bomb scolds. My sister just flounces off happily. I lean in closer to the couple.  
"Is it just me or is she way different?" I whisper.  
"It's the hormones, I think," the Roach offers up. "From the baby." I nod and stand.  
"I'm afraid I have to make my exit now," I explain, somewhat sheepishly. The Roach just waves me off.   
"You're a queen. You always have something new on your agenda. Go. We'll see you another time." I grin in response and leave, feeling more alive than I have in weeks. 

\------

The next month passes in a blur, waking up from nightmares to sunlight streaming through my windows and balls and gowns and meetings, all while my nausea from the child growing inside me worsens and my belly grows bigger. Every time I undress and look at my stomach in the mirror, a terror as cold as ice grips my lungs and I can't breathe. Am I really bringing my King's child into this world? What will happen to it if Oak takes over the throne? If Cardan or myself dies? My anxiety crashes over me in waves, and I feel as thought I am drowning in the Undersea like I was last year. Quickly, I bathe and go to get dressed.

Tatterfell drapes me in yet another extravagant dress, while dear Cardan just watches with a smirk on his beautiful face. I gaze at myself in the mirror... Why does this dress look so familiar..?   
Then it hits me, and I double over in pain.  
This is nearly identical to the one I saw my mother wearing, when I saw her in the Lake of Mirrors. I trace my fingers over the embroidery and try to regain my breathing, but I'm light-headed and wheezing. This shouldn't be a big deal... except Madoc was with her when I saw it.  
Cardan rushes over to me and Tatterfell steps back, making room for him. I can't breathe and my chest hurts and I can sense the panic creeping over me like a shadow.

Cardan grabs me by the shoulders and pulls me into his chest, hard, so I can't resist. I struggle to breath, but I beg to lose myself in his scent, in the feeling of my head against his muscled torso. My husband wraps his strong arms around me and I nestle into his embrace, closing my eyes.  
"He's not here," Cardan whispers to me, over and over again. "You're safe, he's not here. You're safe. He's not here, you're with me. You're safe."

Eventually my breathing slows and I rock back, ashamed. But Cardan keeps his hand locked in mine as Tatterfell comes forward to finish my hair. He stabilizes me, and makes sure I don't fall apart again. How could I have let myself go like that? Queens don't fall apart. Queens have it together at all times. Queens don't let anyone see her like that. But there was my King, helping me through the worst panic attack I've ever had, holding me like a little girl instead of a Queen. Worst of all, it helped.   
Randalin was right. I'm no Queen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for posting so soon, I COULD'T HELP MYSELF!!  
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please leave any criticism in the comments, I always love to know how I could improve my writing.  
> I wrote this in a bit of a hurry, and It seems a little forced to me, but let me know what you think!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter three!! I'm so enthusiastic about this, I'm like maniacally laughing right now lol...  
> leave suggestions in the comments!
> 
> I have to stop reading others' fanfic before I accidentally steal some ideas...
> 
> also... BIG PLOT TWIST AHEAD! :D  
> I literally can't stop writing... lmao ADHD suckssss
> 
> This is absolutely crazy, I have over 200 hits in less than a week. I definitely didn't expect this, so thank you guys so much!

A puddle of thick water on the floor of my royal chambers.  
Not mine. Taryn's.

She had been waddling back from the bathroom when she grasped her back, grimaced, and said my name once. Then her water broke.  
Cardan came in, got a good look at the situation, then turned right back around.  
Taryn, in too much pain to move, simply laid on the floor screeching.

Now, my chambers are flooded with nursemaids and servants. Cardan and the Court of Shadows are somewhere behind me. I'm crouched next to my sister, holding her sweaty hand, feeling but enduring every crack of my hand as she squeezes my bones tight. Tears pour down her screaming face, and servants dab at her forehead with a cool cloth. Cardan is massaging my shoulders, as thought I'm the one giving birth. The Ghost is on her other side, gripping her other hand, showing more emotion than I've ever seen on his features. It's unsettling.

The Ghost just chants comforting words to her as she wails. The noise around me gets to be too much and my shoulders creep towards my ears.  
Cardan gets the hint and places his palms over my ears for me. I sigh with relief just as one of the nurses shouts, "One more push! I can see the child!" 

With one guttural scream, Taryn pushes and a wet, small body lands in the waiting embrace of about four Faeries. Quick as lighting, they wrap him in a brightly colored blanket and dry him off, while a fifth cuts the umbilical cord. Taryn is laughing and crying at the same time as they ease the tiny baby into her waiting arms, against her bosom. She presses her forehead to his little one and whispers something so quietly that I can't even hear. Probably his name. The Ghost cheers with tears brimming his eyes, and the rest of the room is filled with the sounds of dozens of hands clapping. 

Taryn is tired, I can tell, so I gently take the baby and pass him over to the waiting nursemaids. Tatterfell volunteers to guide Taryn to a temporary set of rooms to rest, and I wave her off.  
"She's my sister," I declare. "Wherever my home is, is open to her just as well." Tatterfell snorts and shakes her head, but says nothing. Cardan and I hoist Taryn up and roll her onto our bed, covering her with a blanket and watching her fall asleep.

I stay that way for awhile, watching her breathe her youth back in. I feel Cardan come up behind me.  
"That was terrifying," I murmur. He settles onto the couch next to me, slings an arm over my shoulder. I lean into him, closing my eyes.  
"I know," he says softly. "But look how happy she was when she got to hold the child." I nod, and he keeps going. "Imagine having that joy. I want to share that feeling with you, Jude." A warmth goes through my body. I will never get tired of hearing him say my name. "I love you."

He tips my chin up and brings his mouth to mine, and I kiss him back. It's not hungry this time. It doesn't feel like a dare to run over knives. It feels like home.

Suddenly, someone clears their throat. I whip my head around and there's the Bomb standing in a doorway. I didn't even hear her come in.  
"There's an issue," she says simply. Cardan and I exchange a look, then we both stand and follow the Bomb into the hall.

\-------

"Two things, really. Both of which you'll want to know a little context beforehand," she said dubiously. I can't stand the waiting.  
"Oh, what is it, already?" I snap, tight with worry. The Bomb forces out a small breath and Cardan's grip on my hand tightens.  
"So, the baby is supposed to be Locke's, right?" She starts. I pretend not to notice how she emphasizes the word "supposed", just as we come to the nursery door. I push it open, rushing in, heading for the bassinet. Inside, there is a baby... I notice that the child's face is scrunched up and pale, but smiling up at me like I hung the moon.  
"The child has something called Down Syndrome," the Bomb explains gravely. "It means that he'll have learning impairments and development issues."  
"What does that mean?" Cardan questions.  
"One word for it, a not-so-nice one..." the Bomb says carefully. "Is retarded."

Next I notice the baby does not carry Locke's features. Instead of fox-colored hair, it has sandy blonde. Instead of eyes that belong to Taryn's late husband, or even Taryn herself, he has eyes that belong to the Ghost, big hazel ones fringed with dark lashes.  
The baby isn't Locke's.  
Taryn gave birth to the Ghost's child.

I gasp, my hand fluttering to my chest. Feeling light-headed again, I start to swoon. This has been too much. I can't make sense of it. My eyes brim with tears, and it makes sense. The Ghost's enthusiasm. How he was right next to her.

Only as I start to fall and darkness creeps over my vision, do I realize that there is so much I don't know about my twin sister.

\------

I wake up to Cardan's concerned face hovering above mine. I shout in surprise and he backs up.  
"You scared me!" I say accusingly, trying to catch my breath. He chuckles.  
"Apologies, my Queen." I smile at him anyway, and look around the room. Taryn is nursing her child in the overstuffed armchair next to the fireplace, cooing at him. I sigh.  
"Taryn," I call over. She looks at me. There are so many things I want to say, but instead I just ask, "What are we to call the boy?" She raises her eyebrows at me.  
"Not his real name, what we're going to call him," I clarify gently. She nods.  
"I decided on Sprikin," she says softly. "That's not his real name... but it's the second place one." I tilt my head, confused. "When I was deciding names, at the end it was a contest between his real one and Sprikin. So it goes."

I nod. But I can't hold it in anymore.  
"Why didn't you tell us?" I demand, my voice cracking on the last syllables. She looks bewildered. "You had an affair with the Ghost, right behind your husband's back, whom you murdered shortly afterwards." Cardan looks incredibly surprised, and I recall that he didn't know that Taryn WAS the one that was behind Locke's demise. Taryn just flinched.  
"It wasn't my fault," she protests weakly. I glare. "Okay, it was my fault. But do you blame me? I was shut up in that great awful house with everyone except for my own husband for company." I sigh through my nostrils and close my eyes. Cardan massages my shoulders comfortingly. I take a deep inhale.

"So is the Ghost your lover?" I prod carefully, opening my eyes. Taryn waits a beat before nodding. "It's not... It's not like what I had with Locke. With Locke, I was blind. The Ghost helps... he helps me see." I glance up at Cardan, at loss for words.  
"I-" I start to speak, but Cardan cuts me off with an almost apologetic look.  
"It's your decision what to do with the child, who to raise it with. I just implore that you be careful." Taryn nods at him, searching for dismissal. But she won't find any. 

Rubbing my own swollen belly, I know that Cardan has more sympathy for her than he ever did before... not to mention substantial worry. If Taryn's child could have Down's, who's to say about my own? Our child?

Instead of worrying about this, however, I introduce myself to my brand-new nephew and pray for luck, love, and the bravery that it'll take to birth this child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHH!! Thank you so so much for reading. Next chapter on its way!!!  
> A couple translations and meanings:  
> 1) When Taryn mentions having the public name of her child be the second runner-up, Sprikin....His true name is Larkin, in honor of his TRUE father. His middle name is Locke, in honor of the person that taught Taryn how to love, and more importantly, how to lose.
> 
> 2) The reason that Sprikin/Larkin has Down's is very important to me. He has Down's syndrome because not only is my romantic partner autistic, but people need to know. I did this to spread awareness. The baby will survive. The baby will be welcomed and adored. The baby will grow up with the best life possible for him, because people with learning and developmental disabilities are the same as us on the inside.
> 
> 3) Sprikin is pronounced "spry-kin" , with the first 'i' being a sharp one.
> 
> Again, thank you for reading!! Super excited to write some more.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote a specific character in here, just for TheQueenOfCringe. Enjoy!
> 
> **TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF RAPE AND PANIC ATTACKS.**

I clear my throat, catching Tatterfell's attention. She raises an eyebrow at me.  
"Yes, your Majesty?"  
"Is there-" it comes out too high a pitch. "Is there a way you can repair the dress?"  
"What dress?" she replies, turning back to organizing the vanity.  
"The one that-" I pause, taking a deep breath. "The one that I went to see Madoc in?" She looks dumbstruck. "I'd hate to see such a beautiful thing go to waste." She shakes her head. 

"Why?" I demand. She avoids my eyes. "Why?!" I demand again, voice shrill. She sighs and takes my hand, the most gentle I've seen her. She starts walking towards the closet I share with Cardan, where he himself is already, browsing his assortment of doublets and frilly shirts. Tatterfell picks through the dresses and pulls one out; the one that got torn. The entire front of the skirt is ripped open, but there's also... a massive splatter of blood. The deep red stain is startling against the pale fabric, and nausea rolls through my stomach.

"Why is there blood on it?" I ask, voice hollow. I whirl around and face Cardan. _"Why is there blood on the dress, Cardan?!"_ I screech. I'm infuriated. Cardan looks at a loss for words.  
And because he can't lie, he tells me. "I-I killed him. When I found you. I beheaded him and carried you back to Elfhame," he explains, staring at the toes of his pointed boots. Tears pour out of my eyes.  
_"WHY?"_ I sob. "That's my _father_!"  
"No, he's not!" Cardan insists, wildly. "He _raped_ you, Jude! No father does that!" 

I collapse to my knees and sob into my hands, chest aching. Is it possible, that after everything, I still have some love for that monster? Someone puts their hand on my shoulder and I lurch backwards, standing. Without a word, I rush out of the closet and out of my rooms. I need to get away. I need to calm down.  
My chest heaves and I can't breathe and I can't see worth a damn because I'm _crying_ and I don't want anyone to see their Queen like this. I take the back hallways that no one uses anymore and wind through secret passages until I find myself in the rooms that Cardan burned all those months ago.

I remember it clear as day. He had three people with him. Two girls and a boy. His shirt was off and there was a stripe of raw skin where the bolt from Nicasia's crossbow. He was drunk out of his mind and arrogant and still a new King. I used to long for the simplicity of those days. After a while, I grew to appreciate my current status, but right now I'd give anything to go back to that point. When my only concern was making sure Cardan stayed alive. Now I'm carrying the heir to the throne and too much is at risk for me to act recklessly. 

_The baby_. I sigh through my nostrils, the mask of dried tears on my cheeks cracking with every facial expression. I sit on the bed, my skirts ruffling around me and run my hands over the exquisite bedspread. What I wouldn't give to go back to a time where I still trusted Madoc and the world was still spinning on its axis. I feel that too-familiar panic gripping over my chest and I close my eyes, leaning forward and propping my elbows on my thighs. 

Suddenly, the secret passage that I went through to find Nicasia slides open and a figure steps out.  
"Oriana?" I demand, shocked. Her mouth goes into an "O" shape and she stares at me. "What are you doing here?" It's odd to see her without extravagant clothes and expensive jewelry, but here she is, in a plain tunic with her long white hair down. Her bluish-white skin flushes and she stammers over her words, a first for me to witness.  
"I-I-" I cut her off.  
"I thought you went to the mortal world with Madoc," I accuse, my voice chilly and unfeeling. She only shakes her head in response, her perfect pink eyes trained on mine.  
"I left your father," she says slowly.  
"He's not my father," I snap. She looks shocked.  
"I left him, for he went insane during his exile," she finishes, eyebrows raised. I look away, panicky, scared. I meet her eyes again and she studies me for a minute.

"You're pregnant," she murmurs.  
"You just noticed now?" I say sarcastically, gesturing to my belly, which is now roughly the size of a bicycle helmet.  
"No," she continues, eyes glassy and faraway. "I just never thought I'd see you in this position. A few short years ago you were so full of fury I was sure you'd burst and take all of us down with you." I wince at her description of me. Then again, I stole the kingdom from right under her husband's nose. I was never ladylike enough for her; Taryn was her favorite between the two of us.  
"Taryn had her baby," I say quickly. Oriana's face lights up like a Christmas tree.  
"What do they call him?" she demands excitedly. I notice how she doesn't ask for his direct name. It's nice; it gets rid of any confusion about her intentions. I smile grimly.  
"Sprikin." Oriana mutters a grateful prayer.  
"Is he healthy?"

"As healthy as one with his condition can be," I reply gravely. She's confused, so I explain Sprikin's Downs Syndrome without mentioning that the baby isn't Locke's, like we all thought him to be. She'll figure that out when she sees the child, anyway.  
"Oh," she says breathlessly when I finish, one perfect hand fluttering to her mouth as her eyes fill with tears. "Oh."  
"He's happy," I say quickly, reassuringly. "Actually, Taryn says that babies with Down's are happier than normal children _because_ of the developmental delay." Oriana nods gently. I stand.  
"I really should be going," I say apologetically. "Please... come visit soon. I'll bet Taryn would love to see you." Oriana smiles gently.  
"I'll do my best." She kisses my cheek and I leave, skirts sweeping and heart swelling.

I open the door to my rooms and inside, the Court of Shadows and Cardan and Tatterfell and Grima Mog and my personal guard, all crammed into the front room. I raise a quizzical eyebrow.  
Suddenly, there's a flurry of talking and shouting and explanations and I only get a few words through. Sprikin starts crying and his face scrunches into a wail. I raise my hands and a hush falls over everyone. Half are avoiding my gaze, and the other half are staring at my belly. Only Cardan is looking into my eyes, and Taryn is nursing Sprikin.  
"What is going on?" I ask authoritatively. Cardan's eyes well with tears, and the Bomb pushes to the front. I've never seen Cardan cry, and I don't want today to be that day.

"Our spies intercepted a note laced with magic," The Bomb says gently. "We had to restrain her until one of our mages can reverse the spell."  
"What is this about?" I demand. She takes a deep breath.  
"The magic was a spell to put the receiver in a murderous rage, directed at... well, you."  
"I-" I begin, but she keeps talking.  
"The curse is also designed to give the receiver the ability to spread the curse around. The person who intercepted the letter is in quarantine at the moment."

I turn to Cardan.  
"W-What does this mean?" I stammer, terrified. Tears trickle down his cheeks.  
"Someone wants our baby dead. And you along with it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading!  
> If you have any suggestions for the names of Cardan and Jude's child(ren), put them in the comments!!
> 
> Beware: Major plot twist coming up in the next chapter.
> 
> ALSO: Sorry this ones so short, I wrote it in a hurry. I don't know if I'm gonna be posting tomorrow but HOPEFULLY!   
> Thanks for reading <3


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHH!!! I woke up today to over 500 hits. I DIDN'T KNOW MY STUFF WAS WORTH READING!!!  
> THANK YOU GUYS SO SO MUCH!!
> 
> Warning... plot twist ahead >:-)

I blink, completely at a loss for words.  
"Excuse me?" I demand.  
"The King has barred you from leaving the palace," the knight explains sheepishly. I can't imagine how I look to him; a mortal girl with eyes full of fury and a stomach carrying the heir to the throne, all teeth and expensive jewels.  
"Let me pass immediately," I order furiously, trying to step around him.  
"I'm afraid I can't do that," he says in response. I bare my teeth at him and he flinches, but I whirl around and storm off, intent on finding my husband. 

It's been months since the note, and nothing has happened. Yes, I stayed in of my own accord, but Cardan grounding me? That's unacceptable. 

I feel the baby stir, and I nearly double over. This felt like more than a kick, but I hobble forward, determined. Then another sharp pain stabs my belly. I wince and press my fingers to my abdomen.  
A third shard of lighting, so bright and painful I lose all senses for a moment. When the world comes back into focus, I'm standing in a puddle, and my skirts are drenched.

Everyone around me freezes, sizing up the situation.  
We wait in shock.  
Someone screams, "Get the King!"  
My guard urges me forward.  
I ignore the pain and keep moving.  
We reach the door to my rooms.  
I push it open and flop onto my bed, tears in my eyes, threatening to well over and betray my fright.  
Cardan rushes in, crown askew, fear in his eyes.  
He meets my gaze for a moment, and I nod.  
It is time.

\-----

I scream.  
And scream, and scream, and scream.  
I have _never_ felt anything more painful than this. _This must be hell._  
A white-hot steel band wraps around my torso, squeezing my insides so hard I'm sure I'll pop.  
I sob with every push.  
So many hands on my skin and condolences and urges to _Breathe, just breathe_.  
Until finally.  
My son is born.  
Just as they did with Taryn's, they wrap my baby in a blanket and sever the cord. They dry him off and hand him to me. I hold him against my bosom and cry, my sobs mixed with his wailing. Then another contraction seizes my body and I tense up. Cardan takes our son from me and the nurse at the foot of the bed says something that I can't make out. Cardan squeezes my hand and I push, desperate to get whatever is inside me _out, get out get out get out_ , and then there's a second baby swaddled and dried and severed and wailing. I see someone mouth "It's a girl," as they push the child into my arms. 

Cardan props me up on pillows and I blink groggily, trying to figure out why this baby looks different. She doesn't have Cardan's pale complexion. Instead her skin is thick and tinged a greenish-grey. Then it hits me.  
_It's Madoc's baby._  
Panic. Absolute chaos. Cardan sees my expression and orders everyone out, and terror's cold fingers slither down my spine. Suddenly, I'm back in his apartment, feeling his hands on my skin and my legs wrenched apart; his weight pinning me to the floor and the prick of the knife against my throat. My vision clouds and my grip on my daughter slackens. Cardan grabs her before she drops to the bedspread and cradles them both while I try to get myself under control. But I can't I can't I can't _breathe_ or think or stop crying and my chest hurts and the wailing of my children drowns out my own thoughts.

I close my eyes and envision a happy life with our children; our son's tail curling up from under his clothes, our daughter learning how to use a bow, having a picnic in the royal courtyard. Everything is blurred when I open my eyes and I realize it's from the tears I have yet to let fall. This is not okay.

I am not okay. 

Eventually I get my breathing under control, and I look up at my husband's pained face.  
"Sorry," I mutter.  
"Don't apologize. It's not your fault. It's Madoc's," Cardan replies firmly. I look away. "Jude? Please look at me."  
I look back up at him.  
"It's your decision," he says softly, eyes glassy. "You don't have to keep her. There are plenty of Faerie women who would love to have a child."  
I feel like I'm being selfish.  
"I-"

"I have to keep her." He looks at me blankly. "Cardan, as much as this baby is his... it's also mine. Don't you see that?" Tears well up in my eyes again and my chest aches. I don't want him to leave me because of my daughter. "Cardan, please." He closes his eyes and lowers his head. All the thoughts in my head drain out as I lurch backwards. Cardan's white face turns up to mine.  
"Shall I adopt her? Or would you rather she be your child and yours only?" He smiles, and the warmth floods into my body again. I close my eyes and smile, even though it hurts.  
"Adopt her, please," I answer thoughtfully. "She needs a father, does she not?"  
"Then so she will."

\------

We are curled together on our bed, cradling our twins, discussing names.  
"What about Connor?" I suggest. He winces. "Too human?"  
"Too human," he agrees. "What about Kendall?"  
I think for a moment.  
"I like that, actually," I confess, staring out our sleeping son whom we are trying to name. Cardan smiles at me.  
"Kendall it is. What should he go by in public?"  
"Connor."  
"Jude..." he groans. I stick out my bottom lip and plead with him silently, pouting. He crumbles.  
"Fine. Connor." I cheer and I rest my head on his shoulder.

"I feel like they should have matching names," I muse thoughtfully. "What about Khiara for the girl?"  
Cardan leans in and kisses my forehead.  
"It's perfect," he murmurs against my head. I close my eyes and smile, deep in the moment as I am in love. "Maybe Caitlyn for the public name?" I wrinkle my nose.  
"That was the name of one of Oak's nursemaids. No," I reply. "Maybe Cereese?" Cardan shakes his head.  
"I've got it," he grins. "Cynna." I smile and nuzzle into his chest.  
"I like it."  
Kendall and Khiara, Connor and Cynna.  
I could get used to this.

\------

Cardan and I are making history all over again.

Usually, when a consort or Queen births an heir, the baby is confined with the mother until the point where the prince or princess is given a name and Baphen searches the stars for signs.  
We have done this our way.  
Instead of going back to his royal duties full-time, the Living Council brings important updates while the entirety of Elfhame anxiously awaits the announcement of the heir(s). He spends most of his time with me while I recover from childbirth.  
I have no idea what's wrong with me. I have barely been able to control and stuff down my joy. I live for every waking moment with the twins, and I'm not even annoyed when their cries wake us from our slumber. I get to rock them back to sleep, side-by-side with my husband in the light of day streaming through the windows.  
I spend my days introducing myself to the twins and playing with them, and the weeks pass with alarming speed. Soon my bright-eyed bundles of joy are babbling and grabbing my fingers.  
My deflated pooch of a stomach is gone, and so are all the doubts.

That is, until we watch Baphen's face drain as he searches the stars. I know immediately that this isn't going to be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *In case the "light of day" thing confused anyone, just remember that Faeries live by night and sleep in the day, rising from their beds in late afternoon and returning to them when the sun begins to rise.
> 
>  **A few explanations:**  
>  1) Madoc was killed off-page, in a way. It was meant to be unnoticeable because of the state Jude was in. Cardan had a bad feeling and ended up following Jude, getting lost, and then busting down the door to see poor Jude being assaulted by a former father figure. True, Cardan has never been much of a warrior, but if the love of **your** life was being assaulted before your very eyes, wouldn't you want to do everything you could to stop it? 
> 
> 2) I did some research for the part where it's Madoc's baby. If the fetus was still forming at the time when Madoc- ahem- violated Jude, then there would have been waiting eggs still, resulting in twins from two different fathers.
> 
> 3) Writing a cozy, wholesome scene was very important to me because in all that chaos, there is always somewhere you can catch your breath and find comfort again, and I wanted all readers to know that.  
> You are loved and imporant and the world wouldn't be the same without you <3
> 
> AAAHHHH!! THANK YOU GUYS FOR STICKING WITH MEEEEEE


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate to break your heart like this, but I have to.  
> sorry not sorry
> 
> You guys are gonna hate me so so much hehehe

"There's a prophecy," Baphen says carefully, stalling.  
"Oh, just spit it out already," I snap. Khiara whimpers. He takes a deep breath.  
"The twins made of shadows will be the destruction of Elfhame. Only once their lives cease will the kingdom know peace."

\---

I hold Kendall and watch his tail curl and bounce while he sleeps. Cardan has spent every night since the prophecy sloppy drunk and partying, stumbling home after I fall asleep. I haven't seen him much except from when we are expected to present a united front, and I can't very well talk to him then.  
No one knows about the prophecy. 

One night, I stay up to meet Cardan when he comes back to our quarters. His ruffly shirt is open, exposing his bare chest, and there are light scratch marks on his torso. There's a smudge of something colorful on his collarbone, and his tail is twirling in circles. His eyes are half-shut and bleary, and he has a smear of goldish powder on one sharp cheekbone. My heart thuds.

My husband collapses in bed and I notice how his breeches are inside-out. I furrow my brow and it feels like everything in my body has stopped; my blood, my heart, my stomach. I feel hollow as I poke him to try and keep him awake.  
"Where were you?" I whisper furiously. He simply squints at me, then tips his head up towards me, planting a kiss on my lips. He tastes like alcohol and spit, but not his. I come to a slow realization.  
"Were you with a lover?" I ask breathlessly, terrified.  
And because he can't lie, he just says, "Silly Jude..." and rolls over.  
He falls asleep. I don't.

I try to push whatever happened that night out of my mind. We have bigger things to worry about, and besides, he was probably too drunk to think straight... right?  
My anxiety feels uncontrollable as we go back to our royal duties slowly. Soon we are contemplating boons and bargains again, just with babies in a decorated bassinet beside each of our thrones. They stay with us.

Until one day, I can't find either of them.

I tear apart the nursery and our quarters in my search, all while Cardan tries to calm me down. I demand answers from Tatterfell and the guard posted outside our door, and my brain feels like its going to explode. Someone wanted our children dead, and now they have them. My anxiety crashes over me, wave after wave, and I'm drowning. I'm drowning and I've forgotten how to swim and it's too much because my twins are gone and I have no idea where they are.

I collapse on the floor, sobbing.

Taryn enters with our twins propped up on her hips.  
Cardan's hand rests on my shoulder.  
"That's what I was trying to tell you," he tells me weakly. "Taryn was babysitting."  
I scoot away from him and glare up at him, tears clouding my vision.  
"I asked you the other night," I tell him, teeth gritted, voice cold, "If you were with a lover. And you didn't say no."  
Cardan's head drops.  
"Do you have a lover?" I ask him. He looks up at me. He doesn't say no.

I stand quickly, heart breaking in my chest.  
"Jude, I-"  
"NO." I cut him off. "You promised to love me. You said you loved me. And you go and do this."  
"Please, just let me explain-"  
I push him back; my hands find his shoulders and I shove him as hard as I can, which is pretty damn hard. He falls to the floor and he looks up at me, shocked. Tears stream down my cheeks and I'm so numb I can't even feel it. I turn quickly and take the twins from Taryn. 

I shoot Cardan one last withering look and leave.  
I need to get as far away as possible, away from my heartbreak and away from my husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry this chapter is so short -  
> I'm super stressed but you guys need a chapter and an update so I wrote one
> 
> please don't hate me
> 
> TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK IN THE COMMENTS!!  
> THANK YOU FOR READING!

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU GUYSSS!!!! I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A FANTASTIC DAY!! THANK YOU FOR READING <3


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